The 3x3 Sleep Pathway That Delivers Total Rest
Learn how to bring deep sleep, (instead of keeping one eye open...)
We all know that sleep’s vital for wellbeing & good mental health. It’s why insomnia’s such a problem for anxiety sufferers. Little wonder it’s something I come across day in & day out. With a real-life danger lurking out there, more and more of us are waking bleary-eyed & wondering why we can’t get a decent night’s rest.
First up, a little shut-eye science.
Why don’t you sleep as deeply in a hotel bed as you do tucked-up cozily at home?
First night restlessness is a well-known phenomenon, especially amongst frequent travellers. I’ve had my fair share of restless, hotel-style nights in my past incarnation in the Financial Services world.
It got me wondering if there’s a connection between the restlessness of sleeping in unfamiliar surroundings and trying to doze off surrounded by something unfamiliar. After all, covid-19 is stalking both our real & our digital world.
Science has known for some time that dolphins sleep with one half their brain at a time. That way, they can stay alert and get sleep, all at the same time. They even sleep with one eye open. Literally, one eye open, watching out for danger. Other mammals display this ability too but dolphins make for a better press release & research budget.
Recently, science has discovered that we humans share this ability for ‘unihemispheric’ sleep too. It’s what lies behind the yawns that follow nights when we sleep but don’t feel as rested as we should. We really are sleeping with one eye open, (or in our case, an ear), alert for danger.
When we feel safe and especially in familiar surroundings, we humans benefit from deep sleep. Our entire brain shuts down and off we drift into a land of make-believe and dreams, alternating REM sleep and deep sleep through both halves of our brain at the same time. It replenishes our brains and helps us process all the information we encountered the previous day. It’s restorative & refreshing.
When we feel less than safe, usually when something’s changed like a partner being away for the night or we’re sleeping in a hotel, we switch to unihemispheric sleeping. This safety mechanism keeps one half of our brain awake whilst the other half sleeps.
Our mind takes turns at keeping watch.
Which is where all that restless, unfulfilling sleep comes from.
Guess what this means for your sleep?
An anxious brain doesn’t feel safe.
A brain that’s being frequently reminded that there’s a lethal pandemic going on feels unsafe. And a brain that feels unsafe tends to sleep one half at a time. Little wonder so many of us yawn & stretch our way through the day.
All very interesting, I hear you say. But how does this help me sleep better?
Well, we need something that stops your brain from deciding it needs to be alert, even when it’s asleep.
Two areas spring to mind straight away. One is to reduce the feelings of anxiety & worry. The safer a brain thinks it is, the less it’ll be on alert at bedtime. We’ve been working on this over the last few weeks, so go back & revisit some of the earlier emails like these:
How to cope when fear becomes reality
What we’re adding into the mix today is a sleep pathway that takes a brain living in an anxiety-provoking world and brings enough familiarity & calm for it to switch off fully by the time your head hits the pillow.
By consistently using the same pathway over and over again, your brain learns to put down the worries & concerns of the day (you know, stuff like how many people died today or how what’s going to happen to my job after furlough ends?). The idea is that by the time you turn the bedside light off, your brain knows everything’s as it should be and is happy to drift off.
The 3x3 Pathway To Deep Sleep
There are three phases to an effective sleep pathway:
Preparation during the day (you know, stuff that makes you tired by bedtime)
The physical pathway (getting your body relaxed)
The mental pathway (making your mind sleepy)
During the day
#1 daylight exposure
I was always told that fresh air makes you tired & that’s why exercise & long walks are good for you. It turns out that it’s more to do with exposure to daylight. Think about it, you’re far more tired after a day on the beach in the summer sun than you are pottering about the garden or walking in the park on an overcast day. Daylight helps reset your circadian clock, ensuring you’re ready for bed at, well, bedtime.
#2 exercise
Aside from being able to combine exercise and daylight, exercise is good for sleep too. It pumps blood right through your body, bringing oxygen & carrying away waste. Studies repeatedly demonstrate that exercise is great at reducing stress & we all know stress is the enemy of deep sleep.
#3 keep your bedroom cool
I know a lot of us love snuggling up under a warm duvet in a nice cozy bedroom. The problem is when we sleep, our core temperature needs to drop. It’s one of the triggers for restful sleep. If your bedroom’s too warm, restful sleep is far harder to find. The best temperature is around 18℃ or 65℉ (which is way cooler than most of us are used to). Try it for a few nights, it makes a big difference.
Physical pathway
#1 soak in a warm bath at least 30 mins before bed
The good long soak opens up your blood vessels & encourages blood to flow through your muscles, helping them relax ready for sleep. On top of this, and more importantly, it helps with your body’s core temperature drop at bedtime. When you step out of your warm bath or shower, your body automatically cools you down. If you’re out of your bath more than 30 minutes before bed, then your body’s nicely in cool-down mode as you slide under the covers.
#2 switch off devices (not for the blue light though)
There’s loads of chatter about blue light being bad for sleep, so we should avoid our devices in the run-up to bedtime. Whilst there’s some evidence for this, it’s a little flimsy according to some research. The major effect is in switching off our devices rather than avoiding blue light (some screens automatically go into night mode, reducing the blue content anyway). Think about it. Our devices, whatever they are, are our source of emails, texts, Whatsapp, social media, news, gossip, fluffy cat videos. None of these are good for switching your mind off & in many instances, only serve to increase stress and anxiety.
So, do yourself a favour & read a book or magazine or kindle instead.
#3 Do routine, mindless tasks in the hour or so before bed
Things like washing up, tidying up, locking the doors. There are two benefits to this. The tasks are relatively simple & tick easy-to-do things off your mental checklist. The physical aspect of these tasks is undemanding but it’s moving you along a pathway that your brain will very quickly learn means ‘I’ll be tucked up in an hour & there’s nothing major to focus on’. This helps your brain wind down. it also gives it some mental space to tidy away what it’s experienced during the day. Just as you’re tidying up, so your brain kind of does the same.
(see also #2 journalling below)
Mental Pathway
#1 read (a book or magazine or kindle) for 10 minutes or more
When you read something, especially if it’s unrelated to your day & isn’t stress-provoking, your mind gets the chance to live in an alternate world for a bit. We get engrossed quite quickly when we read & as all we see is words, our minds have to make up everything in between. So whether it’s an article about crafting or a historical novel or about music or cars, your mind absorbs itself, for however short a time in something that’s not real. A little like it does when it dreams…
#2 Journalling or to-do list
If you’re anything like me, there’s nothing quite like a dark quiet room to get the brain ticking over. I’ve spent many a night lying awake thinking about what’s gone on, what’s left to do tomorrow, things that’d totally slipped my mind during the day.
This is a neat trick to get all of that out of the way so it doesn’t disrupt sleep.
Journalling is increasingly popular & earns itself a place in the 3 x 3 pathway. As a part of your routine tasks above, sit down and write about anything & everything that comes into your head. It doesn’t need to be neat or even make sense, no-one else has to read it. All you’re doing is emptying your mind onto a sheet of paper in front of you.
Equally important are the things that you want to remember in the morning. Write a list of everything you want to do or think about the next day. If they’re in a list, they don’t need to be in your head.
Guess what? Your mind quickly learns it’s OK to switch off because everything’s written down, waiting for the morning.
#3 meditate / sleep mp3
This one keeps cropping up and for good reason. Meditation (if you can) or a sleep mp3 (if meditation's not for you) are fantastic ways to transition your mind from daytime ‘doing-mode' into a night-time ‘being’ mode.
Rather than go through all the benefits again here, these mp3s will refresh your memory, in a gentle and relaxing way of course.
Putting it all together
I highly recommend using the 3x3 Sleep Pathway. Everything’s tried & tested & backed by excellent research.
It’s worth taking a few minutes out of your day to work out how to build in the 3x3 steps. Ideally, you’ll find a way to put them all into practice but truth be told, whatever you can do is a step in the right direction. The essence of it is to create a pathway from day-mode into sleep-mode. Sadly, we can’t just switch off our minds like a bedside light. Minds need to be lead from one state into another, especially when the state you’re looking for involves lowering your guard for a few hours.
Give it a try for two weeks & let me know how you get on.
As always, any questions, just drop me an email & I’ll get back to you.