Positive Thinking Is Bad For Your Mental Health
Positive thinking isn't the magic bullet we like to think it is
Take any typical self-help book, listen to any self-help mp3 or watch a YouTube video & nine times out of ten its core message is 'Think Positive'.
I’m not a fan.
In general terms, positive thinking’s all well & good & for many people it works. Applied appropriately, it encourages us to take risks and seek opportunities we might otherwise avoid. It helps us to find the upside of difficult situations. It's especially useful if you have relatively good self-esteem and are trying to overcome obstacles on your path to success.
But if like many of my clients, you struggle with Anxiety, Depression or Stress, relying on positive thinking often works against you rather than for you.
Depression comes in many forms but an over-riding factor is a low mood that somehow saps all your energy and motivation.
When you're at or close to this state, positive thinking becomes counter-productive and only seems to highlight just how weak and ineffective depression makes you feel.
Never, never give up…(unless)
You’ve probably come across this Winston Churchill quote:
“Never, never, never give up”
It’s the kind of inspirational motto that turns up all over social media & it’s easy to imagine why. Perseverance is seen as something to aspire to. After all, tenacious types are the ones who ultimately tend to get things done.
Perseverance is at the core of positive thinking. By only focussing on the positive outcomes, by expecting the best to somehow always happen, we create the perseverance to keep going when nagging doubt rears its head. Which it often will.
Perseverance is all very well but the thing is, not everything can be solved by sheer grit. Sometimes it's better to stop; take stock of the situation and if necessary, change tack.
Unless common sense says so!
The real Churchill quote is longer & gives important caveats to this all-consuming ‘never give up philosophy:
“Never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense.”
Don’t give up unless it makes good sense. But if you only use positive thinking, ‘good sense’ doesn’t get a look in.
Determination can be a wonderful quality. But sometimes knowing when to just pack it in is where the ‘good sense’ lies.
Sometimes it simply isn't possible to fight your way out of depression. In a very real way, the inability to fight through depression is one of the symptoms that make it 'depression' in the first place.
If your strength & determination have been switched off by depression or anxiety or burnout, then deliberately backing off & recharging can be vital.
Sometimes rest & giving yourself a break (literally & figuratively) can give you the edge to recover. Sometimes, you’re going to need expert help.
Which is where I come in. We touched on this last time too. If you’re considering seeking help, get in touch & let’s have a chat about it. It’ll help you clarify your thoughts about where to head next.
All the best
Tony
Next steps
If stress, anxiety or depression is affecting your life, just reply to this email & let’s chat about how I can help.
I see coaching & therapy clients in Harley Street, London & at my home in Peterborough.
Many clients now choose the convenience of working with me online. It’s just as effective & cuts out the need to travel. Ideal for busy people like you.